


How You Carry It

by IBoatedHere



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29451819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: “Can I tell you something,” he asks and Carlos nods. “You can’t tell anyone. Not Michelle or any of the people you work with...not even your parents.”“Do you want to pinky swear,” Carlos asks, extending his pinky finger toward TK.TK tells Carlos about Owen’s cancer.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 4
Kudos: 168





	How You Carry It

TK’s diagonal on the bed, more toward the foot than the head and he’s not completely sure how he ended up in this position. Sex with Carlos is always an athletic endeavor that leaves his body humming and his mind scarily clear but tonight everything seems cloudy as he stares up at the ceiling and listens to Carlos move around in the next room.

The toilet flushes. The water runs. The linen closet door opens and closes and TK lies there on the bed, the sheets and comforter bunched awkwardly beneath his back, and traces the patterns the brushstrokes left on the ceiling.

“Are you staying,” he hears Carlos ask from the doorway.

“I should go,” TK tells him but he doesn’t move. He doesn’t even lift his head.

There’s a stretch of silence before Carlos says “okay,” and makes his way over to the bed.

“I have an early day tomorrow so…” Carlos trails off and picks a pillow up off the floor then pulls at the sheets, trying to get them back in some kind of order. He climbs beneath the covers and TK rolls onto his stomach, pushing himself up onto his elbows. From this position he’s level with Carlos’ hip and he cranes his neck to look up at him.

“Can I tell you something,” he asks and Carlos nods. “You can’t tell anyone. Not Michelle or any of the people you work with...not even your parents.”

“Do you want to pinky swear,” Carlos asks, extending his pinky finger toward TK.

“I’m serious, no one knows except for Judd and—oh—I wonder if he’s told his wife. Great. That’s two people who knew before me. Well, two people and then all the doctors—.”

Carlos tenses and sits up. “Doctors? TK—.”

“My Dad has cancer,” TK blurts and Carlos’ eyebrows shoot up before pinching together in concern. “Lung cancer,” he continues, looking down at his hands. “He’s known about it since before we left New York and he only told me about it yesterday. He told Judd about it, like, the second day they met, though.”

“TK—.”

“He’s getting treatment. He has a whole team of doctors and he’s on chemo and he takes all this medicine but sometimes that just makes him feel even worse.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I just wish he would’ve told me.”

“He didn’t want to worry you.”

“It’s cancer, Carlos,” TK says as his eyes flick up to Carlos’ face. “It’s something to worry about.”

“I know,” Carlos says softly.

“I’m sorry,” TK says and Carlos shakes his head and reaches down to run his fingers through TK’s hair.

“I think I’m the one that’s supposed to be saying that.”

“No, I’m sorry I unloaded all this on you. I just needed to say it to someone. Out loud.”

“It’s okay,” Carlos soothes. “You can always talk to me. You can always tell me things.”

“I wish I didn’t have to tell you this,” TK says softly and Carlos moves his hand from TK’s hair to the side of his face, gently tipping TK’s chin up.

“I want to tell you that it’ll be okay.”

“But you don’t know that,” TK says. “I mean, I told my dad that and I don’t even know if I believe it. Maybe I just said it to make us both feel better. It’s cancer. There’s no way to really know.”

“I know your dad is the healthiest and strongest person I’ve ever met.”

“And he still got sick,” TK says. “I guess that’s just the way it goes sometimes.”

“I don’t know how to make you feel better,” Carlos says, “and I want to.”

TK drops his forehead to Carlos’ thigh and Carlos cups the back of TK’s head, fingertips rubbing small circles at the nape of his neck.

It doesn’t make him feel better but it makes him feel good, the same way that Carlos always makes him feel good. In bed or on the scene or in a fleeting thought that crosses his mind in the middle of the day.

His head knows that this is too much too fast and he shouldn’t be settling into his life because it’s not fair to Carlos, who is too kind to be dragged into this mess. But his heart seems to be speed-running into it, beating double time whenever he so much as thinks the man’s name.

“I should go,” TK says again and Carlos’ hand stills then lifts, letting him go but still, TK doesn’t move.

“At least get under the covers,” Carlos tells him, leaning over and pulling at the pile of sheets that are tucked beneath TK.

TK knows he should go but when he lifts himself up he slides between the sheets instead of getting to his feet.

He settles in, closer to Carlos than he meant to be and Carlos shifts toward him, one hand hovering over TK’s hip.

“Is this okay,” Carlos asks and TK nods, wanting to be held more than he wants to run.

Carlos obliges and wraps his arm around TK’s waist and pulls him tight against his chest. TK tucks his head beneath Carlos’ chin and heaves a sigh.

“It’ll be okay,” Carlos tells him as he rubs his hand over TK’s back. “It’s gonna be okay.”

For the first time, here, safe in Carlos’ arms, TK starts to believe it.


End file.
